The key is to use the past to live a better present and not be ruled by it. Past learnings and pleasant memories only enhance the present. What needs to be forgotten and let go are those past events that hold you back. The past should be best used as a vehicle to move us forward, and not as an anchor that keeps us eternally stuck.
You cannot change what happened – yes, it is dead and gone. Ruminating on what should have happened, or what you should have done has no value. This energy drain only detracts from your ability to live fully in the only time you have – the present. The following tips can be used to put the past to rest or help you Stop dwelling on the Past mistakes or to gain wisdom from it to enhance your present life.
Ways to help you Stop dwelling on the Past mistakes
- Consider mistakes as opportunities: Don’t let your past mistakes dictate who you are, but let it be a lesson that strengthens the person you’ll become.
- Re-examine and take affirmative action: Look at the past situation from the vantage point of the present. How did you grow because of the experience? Was there a hidden gift in going through it? What did you learn as a result of the situation? For example, if the problem was a business failure, you might begin by listing all the lessons you learned from that experience. You will probably become aware of many new and valuable insights that you can use in your present business situation. All experience teaches us. It leaves us in a better position – wiser, more caring, more humble, more open – if only we learn from it. This recognition is essential before you can be finished with the past.
- Finish any unfinished businesses: This may involve no more than a belated farewell, a letter or a call to someone, or completion of a project. It may require the inner relinquishment of someone that outwardly you left behind years ago, or some old image of yourself, or some outlived dream or belief. Completing a project that is no longer meaningful to you may not mean finishing it, instead, you can decide to let it go in its incomplete state and be OK with that. Declaring things ended frees all the mental, emotional, and physical energy you have been using to hold onto these things.
- Resolve incidents when you have hurt others: Recognize and admit to yourself what you did. Admit it to one other person. When you are ready to take responsibility for the impact of your actions upon others, acknowledge that you were wrong, and are willing to do something about it you can get closure. Resolve to go forward and stop looking back on this incident. This will also give you a sense of satisfaction as well as inner peace.
- When you were the offended one, grieve, and let go: It does not matter who did it to you, or what happened to you. The only thing that matters is what you will do about it. When someone does something terrible to you, it is once. If you dwell on it, in your mind, you do it to yourself repeatedly. Actively overcome the pain that was caused to you. For example, if something of yours has been taken away, replace it with an item just as good or better. It may seem hard, but you will feel better. If you were emotionally hurt, give yourself the support that you wanted from the other person. Ask a trusted friend to provide you with the emotional support you did not get.
- Be in the present moment: What happened is done! Stop investing time to things which no longer exist, when there is so much joy to be found here and now. Practicing mindfulness meditation will guide your focus to the present moment and clear our all of the negative thoughts that are running through your mind. To support the process, you can also try mindfulness techniques.
- Keep yourself busy: Try to fill up your schedules with fun, productive, and meaningful activities if you need more time to keep your mind off your past mistakes during idle times and Stop dwelling on the Past mistakes.
Try these suggestions to keep your calendar busy and stop dwelling on the past:
- Join a sports club
- Learn something new, such as a musical instrument if you haven’t tried it
- Spend time with family and friends, etc
- Seek external help if possible: When you ruminate on a particular mistake, it usually means the episode is connected to a broader mental health issue. There can be various underlying factors, including personality type, family history, and thoughts.
Talk with a therapist, it works. A therapist can help you understand and learn what’s making you hold to it. Mental health professionals will help you with techniques for managing and coping with the guilt.
Remember, when you let go of past hurts, failures, mistakes, etc. a vast field of possibilities will open up for you. You will be free to respond to present situations in new ways without falling back on programmed reactions. You will also be free from having draining emotional responses when looking back on past experiences. It is difficult to let go of the past, and it is essential to do so. Otherwise, “old tapes” will drain your energy and keep you from moving forward.
Any help you need? We are here
Don’t let the darkness from past steal the joy from the present. Seek any help you require. You are not alone in this, talk to us about anything bothering you. We would love to support you. Call us today +91 97414 76476 or visit Cadabam’s Hospitals today.