On any given weekend in Bengaluru, a quiet shift is playing out, The Times of India reported. At one table, strangers laugh over icebreakers and share a meal with no labels attached. Elsewhere, behind screens, users log into discreet dating platforms looking for connections they do not want to name. What ties it together is a deeper emotional need.
"These formats can facilitate initial connections, but they often prioritise immediacy over depth. This can reinforce a pattern of short-term, rather than sustained emotional investment," said Neha Cadabam, Senior Psychologist at Cadabam's Hospitals.
Stranger meetups and speed dating
Intentional stranger meetups are rising alongside speed dating. Organisers described events that are not about dating at all but about making friends in a city where people keep moving and childhood friends stay behind, bringing back the old "katte" feel of stepping out to talk to neighbours. Speed dating, once a novelty, is now a regular weekend fixture, driven by post-pandemic fatigue with apps and the scarcity of free time in metro life. Bengaluru, organisers said, leads India's dating scene both offline and online, because so many residents live independently, away from family, and are actively looking to socialise.
The private side of connection
If meetups represent visible socialising, discreet dating apps reveal a more hidden shift. One extramarital platform has crossed four million users in India, with a 148% rise in female users over two years, and Bengaluru accounts for the largest share of its user base at 18%.
Neha Cadabam explained what this signals. "It is typically a combination of unmet emotional needs, communication breakdown, and the psychological appeal of anonymity and novelty. When individuals feel emotionally neglected or misunderstood within a marriage, they may seek affirmation elsewhere."
The pandemic effect
Across all these formats, one factor keeps coming up. "COVID-19 significantly altered social behaviour. Post-pandemic, there is a heightened urgency to connect, driven by a fear of missing out on meaningful experiences," she said. Digital saturation is at its peak, organisers agreed, and people no longer want to just text or call; they want to meet in real life.
Support at Cadabam's Hospitals
Whether you are exhausted by apps, lonely in a new city or feeling unseen in a long relationship, the need underneath is the same: to be known. Cadabam's Hospitals offers confidential counselling and couples therapy that help you build connection with depth. Our team is here to help.