Many people move through life weighed down by comparisons, unmet expectations or the pressure to constantly achieve more. Yet shifting focus toward what is going well can dramatically change how everyday challenges feel. In an interview with Humans of Bombay, actor Rakul Preet Singh put it simply: "There are two ways that you can look at life. One, whatever right is not happening, you register that. And second, 'Oh, I have a home to sleep in, I have great health, I'm waking up every day, and I'm doing what I love.'"
"So I can either just say, oh, my film's not done 500 crores, somebody else's has done. Or I can just be grateful that I have a film, and I'm working, and people are liking my work." The pull between comparison and gratitude is universal, and The Indian Express asked Dr Anitha B, Clinical Psychologist at Cadabam's Hospitals, how to manage it.
Ambition and gratitude can coexist
"Ambition and gratitude can coexist. In fact, psychology frames them as complementary mindsets rather than conflicting ones," Dr Anitha told indianexpress.com. "Gratitude grounds a person in the present by acknowledging what is working. Ambition pulls a person toward future goals. Problems arise only when people attach guilt to wanting more or shame to not having achieved enough."
A healthier approach is to let gratitude anchor identity and let ambition inform direction. "One practical exercise is to set goals while simultaneously identifying what is already supporting those goals. This trains the mind to hold both appreciation and drive at the same time."
Interrupting the comparison loop
Comparison is a natural mental habit, but when it becomes constant it distorts self-evaluation and increases anxiety. The goal is not to eliminate it but to interrupt it before it becomes automatic. One strategy is to shift from external benchmarks to internal ones, restoring a sense of personal progress and agency. Another is stimulus control: if certain environments or online behaviours trigger comparison, limiting exposure reduces how often those thoughts arise.
"People can also develop grounding routines such as journaling wins, tracking small improvements, or speaking to a trusted person who reflects reality without judgment. These practices strengthen a stable self-narrative, which makes external comparisons less powerful. When individuals build a habit of checking in with their own values and long-term goals, they stay connected to what truly matters rather than chasing someone else's highlight reel," she concluded.
Support at Cadabam's Hospitals
If comparison has become a constant background hum that drains your motivation or feeds anxiety, therapy can help you build a steadier self-narrative. Cadabam's Hospitals offers counselling and evidence-based support for stress, self-esteem and low mood. Our team is here to help.