Table of Content
What is Anger Management
Anger in young kids is an upsetting emotion with the potential for long-term damage if not checked. At times of stress, lots of children and teenagers struggle to manage their emotions- this isn’t anything new. They are only coming to terms with their changing bodies and the changes in their hormones, and the external world around them can additionally put pressure on them. It is important to know that these are more often than not, not the main emotion they are trying to show. Under anger, there are feelings of hurt, frustration, fear, or even anxiety - which manifest as anger. The key lies in getting to the root of the problem.
Ways to Teach Teens Anger Management Skills
There are many ways to teach your teens how to combat and reduce the degree of their anger, with the following tips for anger management for teenagers:
- Problem-solving: wherein we focus on coming up with solutions to the problems. These could even be pitched as anger management activities for teens.
- Anger management: wherein we think before taking any action and finding better outlets for the anger to be let out
- Self-reflection: wherein we understand and reflect on the situation at hand to make a better assessment of the situation
- Emotional awareness: wherein we understand the emotions and manage the reactions to them
- Assertiveness: This is an anger management technique for teens wherein we identify when to concede ground and when to push for the desired outcome.
Every family is unique- in the sense that every family has its own unique sense of what is the right way to express anger as well as how anger should be handled. Some have a small tolerance for yelling, while in some yelling is a pretty normal way of communicating anger. There need to rule in place which constitute acceptable behaviors, the ones that will be tolerated and the ones which won’t be. Some things that can be generally off the board (for both the parents as well as the teens) are things such as name-calling, physical violence, and threats.
Physical Signs of Anger
In a lot of cases, teens don’t know that their anger is on the rise. The anger gets pent up and then eventually they become so angry that they can’t help but just lash out. Getting them acquainted with what the physiological signs of anger are can help them to recognize the signs of anger. Things such as rapid heartbeats, clenching of fists, and feeling flushed are all early signs of getting angry.
What Makes them Angry
We are generally taught that people or circumstances around us are what make us angry, but that is often not the case at all. It is our own thoughts and beliefs that control our anger, and how we express it. Therefore, with practice, we can control our feelings to a great extent.
In this case, we ask the teen to write down a list of things that make them angry, and then take each point into consideration. Help them understand that the decision to get angry about something is their choice. It is their reaction to the situation, not the situation itself.
Keep an anger diary
If there is no one available to who you can vent, then this might be a good option to capture your thoughts and feelings. This is really good to help you self-reflect on angry episodes that you have had. Whenever a teenager finds themselves getting really worked up and angry about something, they are encouraged to write down their feelings- what happened, why did they get angry, what caused it and what were the immediate results of it. This can be reviewed once a week or so, and then they are able to reflect on how they reacted to the situation and truly understand the consequences that come with them. This could be a good moment to self-reflect and consider opportunities for using distraction techniques.
Practice Relaxation Techniques
There are some calming anger management exercises for teens that are beneficial. Teach it to them when they are calm, and have them practice it before they actually get angry about something.
- Practice taking deep breaths to slow down their heart rates
- For younger kids, get them distracted by blowing bubbles or a windmill, and keep them engaged by asking them to count things
- Create a soothing box that has essential things which help calms them down, which they can go to when they are feeling angry about something
- Ask them to go play some outdoor games, and run around a little so that they can release some energy
Get to the root of the problem
Once the teen has calmed down, find a nice and quiet place to talk to them. They don’t know the language of emotion, so they need to be taught to expand their vocabulary so that they understand and they are able to describe what they feel. Ask them to share what they’re feeling, and what is happening with their body, and observe what makes them angry so that you can point out the trigger points as well. And of course, focus on solutions.
Listen and offer support
Possibly one of the most important things that you can do, is paying attention to their needs and offer support to them. Praise them for doing things right, and acknowledge the effort that they are putting in for things. Understand them, manage your expectations from them, and know that they are going through a tough time. Actually, listen to the young ones when they feel the need to talk to you- even if the conversation is a difficult one. Make sure that they are heard, and that you are able to teach them how to respond in the right way.
Sometimes as teens we are unable to help ourselves control anger, in times like these it is best to seek counselling. Going to a counselor will not only help you to communicate your feelings better but techniques and guided therapy from the counselor can help you overcome your anger. To meet the professionals for your teen, call us now on +919741476476.
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