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More often than not it is a very painful sight to see someone so dear to you stuck in a cycle of drug or alcohol addiction. It’s a painful situation for both the victim and people close to him or her. To see a drug or alcohol addict struggle through that difficult phase – when he wants to get rid of it but could- sometimes become the hardest thing to do.
The worse part of it all is that there is very little you can do to alleviate the situation. One is faced with a dilemma: whether to draw the line and say enough is enough or let things slip out of hand!
In this case, what made me feel even worse is that the addicted person in question was someone very close to me. He was not a bad person, for sure. ‘But did it mean I had no option but to see the person suffer silently?’ Many of my friends and relatives had asked me this question.
In those difficult moments of sufferings and sleepless nights, often despair and memories of broken promises would come to haunt him. It would have driven anyone crazy. I was at my wit’s end trying to bring an end to his suffering.
Then, there used to be times where he consumed very high amounts of alcohol. He would remain unconscious for a long time, may be sometimes for days. He used to physically and mentally abuse me, knowing fully well that I loved him and wanted to see him come out of it so that we can together raise a family. He even went to the extent of stealing money from me to fund his now seemingly incorrigible habit.
But I knew I had no choice, and I couldn’t leave him in a lurch. The end result of all these was I was still protecting him, because I cared for him. I would still pull him out of unknown, weird and shady places, sometimes away from the hands of the law, to the comfort of home. This went on, off and on, for several years. I tried my best to play a mother sometimes and a wife the other, depending on his mood and needs. I gave importance to his needs, whenever he was upset or angry. I would even set aside all other things to stand by him and take care of him.
It was tough at times. But I decided to stay on. Though, I felt like leaving him. However, this was easier said than done. The fact remains: Just because he is down with addiction does not mean I have to leave him. He definitely gave me a purpose to stay on.
With no hope of any relief forthcoming anytime soon I decided to do something about this problem, instead of staying on and hoping for the problem to vanish by itself. With the support from some friends and well-wishers I confronted him and managed to convince him to seek treatment. Surprisingly, he agreed to it, which I guess changed things a lot for me.
After years of struggle and having successfully gone through the de-addiction program those nights of suffering were a thing of the past. The result was there for everyone to see. It has been a long journey of pain and suffering, not knowing how the future will turn out to be. Now, we are happily married after his successful recovery.