07 May,2020 | 2 months read
As soon as we hear the term ‘Emotional Dependency’, a gloomy picture occurs in mind that one person depends on the other for everything they do, the decisions they take or the achievements they make.
Well, this is only one side of the story. Let’s understand ‘What is Emotional Dependency?’ and How it develops?
Emotional dependency is a state of mind where a person is incapable of taking full responsibility for their own feelings. They do have emotions like sorrow, grief, heartbreak, anxiety and depression but they cannot embrace, accept or nurture these feelings.
They tend not to address the cause of these feelings and thus comes the need of approval from others. They are emotionally dependent on others, especially on their partners’ approval and attention to define their worth and personality.
When they are not taking responsibility for their own feelings and to define their own worth, they depend on others is called Emotional Dependency. This state is nothing but being a victim of others' choices.
It is not others job to fill their emotional void or needs and we should realize that the true emotional fulfillment can only be provided by loving yourself. Emotional Dependency is a beast because one never feels content, happy or satisfied without other’s approval.
Let’s find out few ways how one can overcome emotional dependency and how to be emotionally strong:
To feel worthy and lovable, emotional connection with self is very crucial. Pushing away your thoughts and feelings only create a void within. Getting to know yourself through a process of self-expression is how you can establish a self-connection.
Practice expressing yourself through spontaneous writing, journaling or voice recording. Self-connection allows you to be self-compassionate and when you learn to express yourself, you start to deal with your emotions more compassionately, rationally and responsively.
A lot of neediness stems from difficult events that happened during childhood or adolescence. Remembering the past events and how you reacted to those creates a vicious cycle.
You don't want to stuck in that. Identify these incidents for a better understanding of how you ended up in this state of helplessness and emotional dependency. It only hinders you to move forward.
Accept yourself and don’t deny who you are. To become a better version of yourself you first need to embrace your true self and be aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
When you’re constantly stuck in your past you are unable to move forward or make better choices for yourself. It hinders your growth to remember past events and people and to hold on to regrets.
By doing so you create a vicious cycle and by doing so you forget to live your life and feel constant disappointment and sadness.
Overcoming emotional dependency requires you to make logical, and reasonable, choices especially the ones you make on your own. Don’t rely on others to talk to you or make decide on your behalf because they seem more decisive.
Ask yourself exactly what you want from life and don’t be afraid to achieve it. Trust yourself, your instincts and be confident about what you want or think.
Start with small things like how you would like to celebrate your achievements, what you would like to have for lunch or dinner, how you would like to spend the weekend etc. Gradually move on to big ones like financial decisions etc. Make mistakes, learn from it and do better next time.
While making big decisions in life we often seek advice from our family and friends. Although we may simply ask for feedback, what we really want is validation It’s alright to do so. But for minor things, do not seek permission from others.
Have a judgemental call, seek within what you want and go ahead. Seeking permission every time for every little thing takes us away from being self-reliant.
Nobody can give you 100% surety of what’s right and what’s wrong about your decision. You just have to be in sync with yourself and take the necessary plunge.
We all need our support system i.e. our friends and families even pets for that matter. But when we get too attached we cannot do our best as individuals or to have our own point of view.
Learn to keep a healthy balance between yourself and relationships. Learn to expect less from others, so don’t feel disappointed later on.
Take responsibility for the choices and the decisions you make. You can persuade yourself of anything but it’s good to take responsibility for doing so. It means to be entirely aware of your thoughts, feelings, actions and accept them.
You can perfectly follow these tips on your own, however, sometimes a helping hand gives you a little push for standing up for yourself.
Speak to a mental health Counsellor who can guide you on how you can embrace yourself and move forward in life.
For help with overcoming emotional dependency, call us @+91 97414 76476